There’s a statement that is quite familiar to those of us who identify as high-maintenance girly girls: “I have nothing to wear!”
We always say this with a frantic or whiny edge to our voice, and of course it is completely untrue. The womyn who say this are the ones who have more clothes than they know what to do with. The picture above is a prime example. That’s HALF of my closet. HALF – meaning, there are more clothes on the other side of the closet, outside the frame of this particular photo. Regardless, i had at least one hissy fit a week about having “nothing to wear” for a particular occasion.
Now, “I have nothing to wear” has taken on a whole new meaning.
The drain is out. The binder is off, and I’ve been cleared to wear post-surgery sports bras. They are boring, and i haven’t had to buy a bra size that small since high school … but they close in the front, and the elastic band is long enough so that it doesn’t aggravate the incision that is still healing. Yay! I can finally dress myself again, without having to ask for help.
… except i have nothing to wear.
I am going to be living my life as a 1-breasted womyn for at least the next six months – possibly the rest of my life. This requires a whole new approach to clothing choices. Yes, i can still wear all the same clothes i already have and deal with the public stares without feeling any sense of self-consciousness or embarrassment – but i am not there yet. Where i am right now is here:
“Fuck it. I’m just not going to leave the house today.”
“C’mon, Tarah, you have an hour to get to this doctor’s appointment. Find SOMETHING. Get dressed, go to the appointment, and then you can come back and hide for as long as you want to.”
“I need a whole new wardrobe before i can resume leaving the house on a regular basis.”
“Google and Pinterest, *please* help me.”
Several hours of Internet searching has taught me that obtaining a post-mastectomy wardrobe for a 1-breasted womyn is going to be a daunting task. Most of the clothing centers around modified sports bras, and shirts with pockets that can hold the post-surgery drains … and once one moves beyond that stage, the remaining clothing primarily focuses on womyn who have NO breasts – not womyn who have one. Pinterest was helpful in giving me ideas for certain styles of shirts and dresses i can wear … but i was kind of hoping that the World Wide Web would hold my hand and guide me directly to the brands, companies, and stores that would have what i am looking for. No such luck.