I wish i could tell you that i started off on this shopping trip with a positive attitude. I didn’t. I walked into that mall today with a chip on my shoulder, annoyed that i had to spend the day searching for clothes to help take attention away from my single-breasted state. One of my roommates came with me and somehow managed to stay upbeat as i grimaced at her initial suggestions, scowled at the reflection of myself in the dressing room, and made completely insensitive comments like, “Damn… This is how ugly people must feel when they have to go shopping.”
… but i made it through. Renee patiently waited as I pushed past my bitterness, and then together we explored cowl necklines, textured patterns, sweater drapes, and anything with ruffles. There was even a moment, in the third store, when i felt stirrings of legitimate excitement creep up within me, as i tried on an off-the shoulder black dress that i knew would be perfect for the fundraising club event in West Hollywood this weekend.
I know it’s going to take a long time before i feel comfortable inside this modified body of mine. Luckily, i recognize when i am making progress, and today i definitely took a step forward.