(17-01-17) Thought Process

I think i am starting to understand postpartum depression a little better now.

I feel like i should be more happy.  Chemotherapy is over.  Radiation is over.  My PET scan came back showing “no evidence of cancer.”  The wounds have FINALLY healed.  I can technically get cleared to go back to work.  My energy has returned.  So has my memory.  I feel eager to get on with my life.

So why am i not dancing on euphoria clouds right now?

I guess i thought that if/when i beat the cancer, there would be some sense of finality to it all.  Every race has a finish line, right?  Every war has a final battle.  But i am not finished.  I will never be finished.  Yeah, the cancer is gone, but the treatment keeps going.  It’s anticlimactic.

Author: breastcancerat35

I was diagnosed with Stage 3C Invasive Breast Cancer in October/November, 2015. This blog is my way to process my experience and allow my loved ones to have ongoing updates about my journey.

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