I know i am not supposed to be worried about anything while i am here. My one task here is to invest my body and mind into a positive healing space and just do what it takes to get this cancer out of my body. Sigh… I know. But I’ve been dealing with bills the past couple of days, and money has been on my mind… So the conversation down in the kitchen with Elma May threw me into a widespread panic about how the heck i am going to afford this once i leave. I thought that, once i returned to the States, if i got a second job AND a third roommate, i would be able to afford both the home programs and the maintenance visits. I won’t. Elma May said her first home program cost her $15,000. FIFTEEN GRAND. It’s the shots that are so expensive, the daily injections of the vaccines and the stem cells. I don’t know how long that one home program lasts, but i still have to come back here in April ($8k), June ($8k), probably October ($8k), and December ($8k). So, with just one home program (and i know i’ll need more than one), I’m looking at a 2019 medical bill of at least $47,000. Forget a part-time job; that’s a whole second full-time teaching job… which is why positivity and healing spaces are out the window right now, and i am hiding in the bathroom in the community room, trying to quell a rising panic attack. Did i really come this far just to find out that ongoing treatment will not be a reality for me???