“Help me release what i no longer need to carry.”
“This is your mantra, tarah. Repeat it. Embrace it. There is a reason you are in this predicament right now. You are at Ground Zero, and this is your opportunity to slough off some residual pieces of your psyche in order to move forward.”
Carolyn, the RCC patient advocate, the eternal optimist who floats in and out of our social sessions speaking mostly in symbolic and metaphorical statements, had a good point. While Tuesday was a wretchedly painful experience and one i would have preferred NOT to have endured, my body was trying to purge some residual something in these final moments of treatment. The isolation, the forced starvation of the body, the lack of distractions in this sterile room to keep me occupied … It was hard to deny the symbolism behind this moment.